These days marriage seems to be a topic where couples seem to sadly be quick about getting a divorce with their first fight. However, there are ways to avoid that and have a happy marriage, and that’s by choosing to be excellent wives and husbands to one another.
“A good husband makes a good wife.” – John Florio
Here’s a few ways a wife can be an excellent wife:
Be Your Spouse’s Best Friend
In a marriage you can’t just rely on sex to keep things going, you must also be one another’s best friends. In order to do that you have to cultivate a true intimacy, along with unconditionally accepting one another’s faults. Don’t be afraid of conflict, as it will happen.
Learn about one another’s history. Be comfortable in one another’s presence, even if all you are doing is sitting together in silence as one person reads and the other watches TV. You are still together and it shows you are comfortable and close. Be the one your spouse has the most fun with and share inside jokes, articles that have meaning to each other, etc. The main thing is to always be there for them and if needed, be that shoulder to cry on or that person to laugh with.
Work Together To Manage Stress
These days it seems stress is in everyone’s lives. A married couple needs to do what they can to lessen the stress and help each other through it. To do that you need to talk to one another, treat your spouse well if they’ve had a bad day at work and don’t be upset that they can’t take you out to eat or they just want to veg out in front of the TV.
Married people need to learn to take care of each other’s needs, and be intuitive to each other’s feelings. Stress causes strain in a marriage, and learning how to deal with it is necessary to have a good marriage.
Learn How To Fight The Right Way
As stated earlier, no marriage can go forever without some sort of fight, it’s just not healthy. However, the key to being an excellent wife or husband is to pick the battles, as some topics are worth a fight, while others are very trivial.
You shouldn’t criticize one another or nag them on silly things like how to do the laundry or load a dishwasher. Give praise for things done right, and if they actually are doing something wrong, find a way to give constructive criticism so it can be taken in the right way.
Don’t let anger take over the situation. If you do you are bound to say something you don’t really mean, and little things like that add up and can break a marriage apart. No two people are the same, with exactly the same beliefs or values, and you have to learn how to make two become one in a marriage and accept one another for who you are. If you are so angry you can’t be responsible for your actions, it could be a good time to take leave of the situation until you calm down.
Learn How To Express Emotions And Needs Efficiently
A husband is not a mind reader, and neither is a wife You can’t expect your spouse to know what you need or desire if you have not told them. If you want them to do something, then you have to ask them to do it. Don’t just go around dropping hints and then whine because you didn’t get whatever it was you wanted. No one likes that. It just makes the other person confused and upset.
You need to take their feelings into consideration as well, as the world doesn’t revolve around you and in a marriage, both people should be giving 100/100 not merely 50/50. Plus, you have to let the other person finish a statement, as interrupting them is not going to help you get what you want, and it’s not very considerate to do it to someone you love.
Never Attempt To Change Them
You also need to not try to change your spouse. You married them because of who they are and why do you want to change that now? You wouldn’t want them to do that to you, right? Accept them and learn all the awesome things about them that caused you to fall in love with them and decide to get married to them. They don’t have to always agree with you or believe the same things, as we are all different and that’s what keeps life from being boring. If you hate that old flannel shirt he just won’t get rid of, just learn to love him anyway because it’s likely you have something you hang onto that he doesn’t like either. We are only human.
Expect Change Over The Years
You need to learn to roll with the flow and expect things to change as the years go by. The two of you will face many ups and downs and crises and joys together. For instance, if your husband loses his job, don’t try to force him into another job that he hates, just try to be loving and understand that he is under a lot of stress and needs to figure out what job will best meet the needs of his family and himself.
Learn how to support each other in times of change. For instance, likely you’ll be having kids and kids can be both a joy and a problem to a marriage. You need to learn how to still meet each other’s needs even though the children also need you. Remember, kids, leave when they grow up and if you’ve only paid attention to them, and not your spouse, you will not have a good marriage when that happens.
Being an excellent wife is not that hard if you just take some common sense and learn how to put yourself in your husband’s shoes. As long as you learn good communication skills, you can roll with these and other changes and have a strong and successful marriage.
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