4 Steps To A Happy Marriage

What Is A Successful Marriage? It’s About Passion And Smile

A lot of folks have been asking me what makes a marriage so successful. Is it love or learning the art of tolerating each other? I guarantee you, it’s something much more. When you decided she’s the one, I mean really she’s the one, it wasn’t all about love. You must have had some time to think about it and made the call.

More to that, she also must have had the same share of experience. The minute you guys decided to settle with each other, that’s where everything gets interesting. Forget about the stories that love at first sight is all that matters.

Don’t get me wrong. In some cases, it actually works but the majority of us, we tend to have a long way to go. First, make her your friend. Learn her laughter. Kidding! I mean learn what makes her special.

Then afterward pop the question. Everything after the first phrase ‘will you be my girlfriend?’ becomes magical for a while before the constant fights and quarrels start. That’s where most of us give up on the relationship or hold on to it tighter.

“Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.” – Barbara De Angelis

We all need a way to work through such rough patches. The best part is that once you guys learn how to relate much better with each other, you learn to work through these difficult moments.

So How Do I Make My Marriage Successful?

Let me share an experience that might put a bit more insight on how to make your marriage successful. I’m currently on those rough patches and trust me it’s not so sweet. That doesn’t mean I don’t love my wife. She’s the most beautiful and clean hearted person I’ve ever known. Like any other normal couple, we have quarrels that result to us not talking for some time.

One day, I was walking with my wife and we have this habit of being too serious in life. Personally, I always have my game face on. Meaning I like being the serious type of person even when I’m supposed to laugh. I picked up this habit when I was a child and I’ve never grown out of it.

If someone was watching us as we walk, he’d think that we just had an argument. Suddenly, this old gentleman with a cigar passes by and I couldn’t help but stare. He was moving slowly. I thought to myself, ‘Wow. I want to look much better at his age’.

The old gentleman and his wife came up to us and said, ‘Hello! I don’t see smiles on those lovely faces’. The gentleman started making funny faces that got me smiling. You can imagine a 70-year-old trying to get goofy. Then his wife said, ‘we’ve been married for 35 years but we look happier and more passionate than you guys.’ They are older by far but seem to be more in love than ever before. Okay, how is it even possible to stand someone for that long? Did I make you smile? 🙂

Hold that thought! In a bit, I’ll show you how passion and smiling might change your entire marital experience. For those thinkers and uptight gentlemen, here’s something to lighten up your character.

Passion And Smile

Passion and smile are some of the basics of having a successful marriage. Don’t just smile for the sake of it. Smile because you are happy inside. By nature, I’m always serious since I’m a thinker.

I’d love to smile whenever someone cracks a joke, but it’s kind of hard for me. If you are a thinker like me, then it’s time to have a bit more fun. Stop thinking so hard and spend some time in attracting more positive vibes from your family. Passion and smiling make the relationship warmer at the same time, it becomes easy for both of you to communicate. I decided to find out how to make that smile and passion last in a relationship. That being said, here are some of the ways to maintain a smile in your marriage;

1. Remind your partner that you appreciate them

One thing that will always fade away in any marriage is how to appreciate your spouse. We end up assuming that they already know that we love them. So why should I keep on saying it? Our hearts are stubborn. If you don’t keep on reminding her that you love her, she’ll imagine you’ve found someone better. So before anything, stare at her beautiful face for a couple of seconds and tell her the three magical words. The same case applies to your man. Make him feel like the most handsome man in the world not only in your eyes.

2. Honesty

This should be common to every marriage. Secrets can sometimes hurt the relationship more than anything. So if you ate all the muffins in the morning, then you better be honest about it. She might even be happy because you like her cooking. Same case for you my dear. If you did something wrong, let him know.

3. Maintain Your Glamour

We tend to forget about our appearance once you’ve found that perfect girl. That might not be the best choice. She obviously needs a man she can proudly present to her friends. You also need a woman you can unapologetically brag about. So both of you need to maintain a more presentable appearance, better than how you both looked when single.

4. Last But Not Least, Love Her/Him

I’m sure this sounds like a broken record but you need to love your partner. Doesn’t matter how annoying they might get, or how frustrating it can be. Always remember that you should love your partner more than anything in the world. It can be easy falling in love but maintaining the love until death do you part is the beauty of life.

That smile is the best thing you’ll ever have in this world. Cherish it and always try to make your partner happy. Don’t forget to smile once in a while and make sure it’s genuine.

I want you to have 75 years of happy marriage, not less. Therefore, take a smile home every day no matter the bad days at work.

7 Excellent Books To Read

1. Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away: Positive Steps for Improving a Difficult Marriage

2. Making Happy: The Art and Science of a Happy Marriage

3. Getting Ready for Marriage Workbook

4. 101 Secrets to a Happy Marriage: Real Couples Share Keys to Their Success

5. Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?

6. The 10 Commandments of Marriage: Practical Principles to Make Your Marriage Great

7. 30-Day Marriage Makeover: How to Get Closer, Communicate Better, and Experience More Passion in Your Relationship by Next Month


Image by: Marina Hinic

4 thoughts on “4 Steps To A Happy Marriage”

  1. Another fantastic blog full of great suggestions. As far as your question – It’s 35 years for me this year – it’s possible – but not easy. I suggest to those starting out to give it all you got because life happens – strokes, heart attacks and hard times and there is nothing more valuable than a person who loves you being right there by your side, not just when things are good but when they’re really really bad. Suddenly everything about them that annoyed you, the frustrating times, the petty disagreements seem so insignificant. Nothing worth having in this life comes easy and marriage is not exception.

    • Hi Starrcreative, thank you very much for sharing such wonderful thoughts and your experience, very much agree with you! Blessings.


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