Friendship: How To Be A True And Real Friend
Going To School Is Not All About Learning The Alphabet. On the contrary, the real challenge about going to school is whatever you are not taught in class; how to connect and create true friends. More importantly, how to actually be a true and real friend.
Well, it’s kind of hard knowing your true friends from a group of people. However, that shouldn’t discourage you from having friends. Having a friend who can support you when you are at your lowest and at the same time be happy for you at your highest is an amazing feeling.
Personally, I find friends to be people who can actually make you or break you. I’m sure you are a bit tired of hearing this from your folks or even teachers, ‘show me your friends and I will show you your future.’
That is why making friends should be one of the most important things in life. But before, you can make friends, you need to be a good example. In this article, therefore, we are going to focus on how you can become a true friend.
Signals That You Might Be Not The Best Friend
1. You are always criticizing your friend. Telling your friend when they do something wrong is not a bad thing. But not accepting the fact that you might be wrong too is where everything changes. You need to accept that you can make a mistake or even you are the one at fault. Once you don’t accept that then you risk losing the friend you have.
2. You only spend time with them when you need them. Having a friend is kind of like having a lifelong partner. That means you need to be there for them even when they are just okay. But if you only spend time with them when you need them, then you are a bad friend to them. You find yourself only calling them when there’s a reason to do so.
You don’t call them just to know how they are or simply hang out. You only call them when you need something from them.
3. Evading responsibility. Whenever there’s some work to be done, you need to divide it equally in a way that you can both finish it on time. This is where teamwork can go through the roof since a bad friend will evade all responsibilities of doing the work. The worst part is that a bad friend is prone to walking away when the situation gets too hard.
Soon enough, without realizing it, you will be the one your friends will start evading. That is because they can’t count on you to complete the task at hand.
4. If you don’t appreciate your friend’s accomplishment. Even though this is not a show of bad friends, if you begin downplaying your friends they will start to avoid you. Another reason that might result in you losing your friends is not appreciating their success or any win they make in life.
People have enough insecurities and self-esteem issues on their own. Don’t make them feel worse than they already do.
5. You don’t listen to what they are saying. Whenever your friend tries to compliment you or simply give you a simple statement, you don’t listen to what they have to say. Meaning you are always in your own world and their words mean nothing to you.
You are always fighting for time so that they can listen to you and not speak on their own. And oh when they actually get the chance to speak, you pretend to listen to them. The worst part is always interrupting them whenever they are speaking.
Anyway, if you are on the right track, then you probably don’t do any of the above to your friends. Friends are like family and you can never replace them. That is why you need to know how to cherish them. For you to have good friends it means you need to be an example. Here are some of the tops of being a good friend.
How To Be A Good Friend
1. Make sure they are okay when you sense something is wrong. I’ve had the opportunity to connect with only a few true friends. A few days ago, one of my closest friends lost his father and actually never talked about it for quite some time. Unfortunately, I happened to be hanging out with him when he received the call from home.
I sensed something was wrong since he was a bit hesitant to pick the call. That was because the person calling was someone he didn’t expect to be calling (his big brother and they rarely talk). After he hung up the call, he didn’t speak for about 5 minutes.
Afterward, he didn’t share what was wrong until I asked. As usual, he pretended everything was okay so I didn’t push him so hard. It was not until the burial date that he invited me to go with him.
Throughout that time I was always there with him. I was always giving him an ear so that when he feels like sharing, he knows I’m always there for him. You need to be there for your friends even when situations are bad. That is how you make true friends and that’s how you become one.
2. Go the extra mile when your friend asks for help. This is one of the most important factors when you want to be a true friend to someone. When your friend comes to ask for help from you that means they value you and you should not disappoint them.
If your friend asks for financial or any other type of help, you need to be there for your friend. Also, before anything, you need to be sure that this is really a true friend. There are people who will only be there to use you. If you are not sure, use the above points to confirm if he or she is “OK” friend.
3. Respect and understand boundaries. You should also know that you don’t have to be together all the time. We all need some time to recharge and engage in other businesses. In other words, it means you need to give your friend enough time to engage in other activities.
Also, that doesn’t mean that you don’t like them. It only means that you respect them enough to give them some personal space to self-reflect.
4. Appreciate them. Christmas is around the corner and I’m pretty sure you can already feel that holiday spirit coming along. This is actually the best time to show your friend that you are thankful for all the love and support they have given you all through the year.
A little bit of appreciation goes a long way to creating permanent and good friends. It also shows how much you value them. Use such holidays as a way to connect to the people around you. Another wonderful day to connect is on Thanksgiving Day.
5. Involve them in good ideas. Let me break it down for you. Do you have any smart ideas or projects that you need someone to give you a helping hand? Then you can talk to your friend and share the responsibility.
But you should take your time when deciding on which friend to involve when it comes to business ideas.
I hope you now know how to make the best from the interactions you have. If you want to make good friends, you actually need to be a good friend to them first. As I said earlier, the year is coming to an end and it’s been quite a wonderful year.
As you go on planning for the holidays, you also need to remember that 2019 is here too and you need to be ready for it. Check out some of the ways to be successful so that you can be ready for 2019!
Image By: Helena Lopes