Would You Like To Be More Persuasive?
Have you ever met someone that always gets what he wants? Have you noticed how easy it is for some people to make others agree with them? It’s not magic, it’s persuasion. And today I would love to give some tips on how to enchant others.
Whether you need to be more persuasive to have better relationships at work, to have more friends, or simply to feel more confident, this is exactly where you are supposed to be.
Persuasion is not about having an extended vocabulary, about monetary incomes or power (but they do help, though). Persuasion is about gaining people’s attention through recognition, empathy, reciprocity, and of course, looking neat and confident.
Anyone can be persuasive; some just need a little more push than others.
What Is Persuasion About?
When I talk about persuasion I do not mean manipulation, persuasion is to convince someone of something using your own skills, it’s influencing someone’s attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors.
It sounds evil, I know, but persuasion can be used for good, for example: if you have an important presentation at work, you must persuade others you actually know what you are talking about, and if you are selling a product or an idea, it’s extra important.
The use of persuasion as a tool is not particularly modern; in fact, Aristotle himself recommended to study this art for several reasons, some of them are:
- It will help you to defend yourself in front of others when needed;
- It will help you see the other person’s point of view;
- It is an incredible teaching method;
- It can mean the difference between justice and injustice.
Persuasion is extensively used by entrepreneurs and leaders all over the world; most of them mean no harm, but some others want the world at their hands, so if you don’t feel the need of being persuasive, that’s fine, but it is equally important to identify malicious and poorly persuasive people looking to manipulate you.
Why Would You Want To Be Persuasive?
This is something not many people talk about when they start a topic about persuasion. Many of us believed it was something used by salesmen, politicians, and religious people, but in fact, persuasion is a tool everybody can use on a daily basis.
Let’s say, you may not be a politician looking for votes, but sure you will have to deal with treacherous people at work, or perhaps you are looking for a new love partner, to close a deal on a new apartment, even a discount at a store.
Persuasion in small doses could help you get something you really desire without having to lie or manipulate someone.
How To Be Persuasive
Now that this is clear, let’s talk about the simplest steps you need to follow to be more persuasive in life.
First of all, you need to understand that looks matter. First impressions are very important and can make someone see you in a specific way for a long time, so imagine how harmful it is to give them the wrong impression with a terrible outfit.
When I say “dress well” I do not mean always wearing a suit and high heels, I mean fresh clean clothes, perfume if you like it, always with your hair combed, presentable nails and hands, fixed beard if you have one.
Remember Other People’s Names
When you talk to someone, whether that person is someone you know or someone completely new in your life, ask for their name and mention it a few times in the conversation.
It will make them feel appreciated and close to you. It is also more likely that they see you as an equal or someone trustable.
Choose The Right Time And Place
Don’t try to persuade your boss in front of other coworkers, they will feel forced to stand their boss attitude and be less receptive.
Think about the context and the time you would like to introduce an idea so you won’t crash dramatically.
Adapt Your Vocabulary
Not everyone has the same education level, you don’t need to use elaborated words with somebody you encounter in the market, but you will probably need them if you have to face someone at work.
I don’t mean talking with slangs to some and with flashy words to others, but in many scenarios is better to be perceived as humble, clever, and easy going than arrogant, flamboyant, and unapproachable.
Never Try To Lie
Independently of why you are using the persuasion, never lie to people because 1) it could be too obvious 2) If they catch you, I promise you, they will never trust your words again.
If you don’t know something, admit it. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact, show how interested you are about the situation and ask more.
Make Them Feel Interested In You
When you make them care about you or what you have to say, then your crowd is ready to persuade.
Choose your words carefully, treat them with respect, acknowledge them. We all want to feel significant, important to others, use the same needs you feel to enchant people around you. And of course, smile whenever possible.
But avoid being annoying. Learn to accept a “no” for an answer, but also don’t be afraid to push a little further.
Try to present yourself or your idea differently the next time, think about how the other person sees you, understand how they think and you may come out with different results.
Always Be Prepared
I said it’s okay not knowing something, but when you are constantly trying to present yourself as the one who knows the most about something and you actually don’t, it will create mistrust.
If you have an important speech to give, to one person or an audience, write it down, read it out loud, see if it’s too long if it’s adapted to the audience, how convinced you sound.
This is the most important step, you must, at all times, show confidence in your words. Walk with a winner’s attitude, smile, give a strong handshake.
And when in doubt, remember who you really are, and that success is right there waiting for you.
Image By: rawpixel.com
Wonderful Books To Explore:
- How To Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie
- Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Revised Edition, by Robert B. Cialdini
- Verbal Judo, Second Edition: The Gentle Art of Persuasion, by George Thompson PhD